Liza Minelli

Sex with Liza Minelli was much quieter than you would have expected. It seems dumb now, but you imagined her belting “Ring Them Bells” as you brought her to orgasm. It turned out to be a really silent affair, and disconcertingly so. Not even a moan or an “Oh yeah.” Like she was fucking to forget. But afterwards she was polite and complimentary and it seemed things had gone OK on her end.

Of course, this was a long time ago, when she still had her figure. These days, who knows. You’ve half considered looking her up again for another tumble, just so you can do a before/after. Seems like she might have gotten wilder in her old age.