Brooke Burns vs. Brooke Burke

January 23, 2007

I understand the basic physical differences between the two. (One is tall-ish, sometimes blonde and sometimes brunette; the other is raven-haired and looks like pornography).

One of the BrooksI have a general sense of what their respective resumes look like. (Although I have to confess I still don’t understand what the one who hosted Rock Star: Supernova is actually famous for. I think she did some video game VO work, and I imagine she’s posed for lad mags quite a bit, but is that it? Seriously? I know the bar isn’t very high, but there is still a bar, right? Please someone go check to make sure the bar hasn’t been stolen by a Simpson girl.)

I know that I only care for one of them. (The one who hosted Dog Eat Dog and briefly dated Bruce Willis, because a) she seems to have an actual personality, b) she has a very un-self-conscious open-mouth laugh, which is super high on my list of Things I Love and c) she has an underdog thing happening, what with North Shore and Pepper Dennis on her res.)

The other BrookeBut I cannot for the life of me consistently remember which name belongs to which person. I’m surprised SAG didn’t throw a red card when these two applied for membership. Maybe Melissa Gilbert figured neither would ever get within 10 feet of an actual career. Please never tell me you have a crush on Brooke Bur__, as I will just nod uncomfortably and pretend I know what you’re talking about.

Does anyone have a mnemonic device they use to keep these two straight? It would really make my life a lot easier. Maybe Brooke Burns is not a star, Brooke Burke likes bukkake. Something like that? But ideally less derogatory towards Brooke Burns.

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