Content Management Systems I Would Or Wouldn’t Fuck

November 13, 2006


  • Vox – The Japanese schoolgirl of content management systems, practically begging for you to stalk it on Myspace or rub up on it in the subway.
  • Drupal – The exotic foreign exchange student. If you can figure out what the hell language it speaks, it’ll be so greatful for the attention it’ll bend over backwards and let you do whatever you want to it.


  • Blogger – Really popular, and consequently has every virus known to science.
  • WordPress – High maintenance; you have to read a lot of documentation in order to do it right. Always leaves you wondering if you should have used different plug-ins.
  • Movable Type – Looks like it used to be a lot of fun when it was younger; now it just sort of lays there and doesn’t do much. Takes forever to refresh. Spends most of its time changing in and out of different outfits.
  • Livejournal – The CMS most likely to be into Harry Potter bloodplay.
  • Textpattern – Looks very attractive and willing, but beware. Textpattern whispers in your ear “I’ll do whatever you want. Come on, touch me here,” and you touch it there and it DIES.

28 Responses to “Content Management Systems I Would Or Wouldn’t Fuck”

  1. […] Da ich auch in dem Bereich arbeite: Eine ungewoehnliche Bewertung von CMS-Software […]

  2. furiousBall Says:

    which ones would you tell your friends about afterwards?

  3. jimbo Says:

    How can you say you wouldn’t fuck WordPress when it’s obvious you guys are going at it quite a bit. It’s all over the net!

  4. Mark Says:

    Typo3 – Entices you with the promise of CMS bliss, but will leave you crying in the corner of the shower with blood running out of your ass.

  5. Shivaranjan Says:

    But right now you are fucking wordpress i believe. 😀

  6. xavier Says:

    As in real life, guys are usually suckers for the high-maintainence types.

  7. mcsnidely Says:

    Expression Engine ???

  8. nowak Says:

    Vox is like that drooling two-faced acquaintance with ADD that is into everything and nothing at once. Best stick with someone more stable/focused.

  9. Webbie Says:

    Joomla – Entices you with it’s looks but things get complicated when you get into bed with it.

  10. Bubba Says:

    funny funny. you do realize that drupal is the only actual cms up there, right? maybe you should stop hanging out at the arcade and come to the bar – you might find something you’d like to fuck.

    Of course, you wont find anything better than drupal but at least you’ll have real choices. 🙂

  11. nibaq Says:

    I’s put Drupal is the psycho ex-girlfriend department. The sex is great but there is lot of baggage to deal with.

  12. Dear Bubba: A lot of people have been saying that there’s a difference between a CMS and blogging software, but really, who gives a shit. Everyone knows what I’m talking about.

  13. paulie Says:

    I’ve banged almost all of them. I feel…dirty. And unfulfilled. And very, very empty.

  14. Bat Outta Hell Says:

    Drupal? Are you fucking me?

    That’s like saying you enjoy the blow-job you get from your retarded half-cousin, just because she drools a lot and won’t tell anybody.

  15. Fray Dude Says:

    WordPress is the Ginsu knife of content management systems — it can do anything you throw at it. Screw plugins — the things you can even do without them is amazing.

    Drupal is the girlfriend you didn’t take to the prom because she said she’d do it, but ended up dancing all night with your best friend.

    I’m going to explore Joomla next because it seems to do everything I need for my next development project…..

  16. […] 7 – Content Management Systems I Would Or Wouldn’t F**k “Wouldn’t : * Blogger – Really popular, and consequently has every virus known to science.” Short snappy humour for blog geeks. (tags: humour comparison CMS system management content platform blogging blog) […]

  17. engtech Says:


    Update the post with pictures. 🙂

  18. and what about CommunityServer?
    It’s fairly high maint but if you put in a bit of effort…. well, it can e pretty rewarding 😉

  19. I question your sexuality. WordPress isn’t high _maintenance,_ it’s high _willingness!_ It’ll literally do anything you throw at it. But you’ve got to spend some time with it, or you’ll grow tired of each other and you’ll end up wishing you had given Vox a go, despite it being a whiny teen drama queen.

  20. Most of those are blogging systems and hardly qualify as CMS’s. It’s like the 15 year olds who think they’re now women just because they had 5 minutes of uncomfortable sex on the backseat of their older boyfriends car.

  21. I’d say that WordPress is that really attractive, but kinda weird girl that knows more about computers than you do. You know she’d be awesome in bed, but you’re afraid that she’ll discover how boring you really are, and leave you for that guy that got a job with Google.

  22. Stealthgear Says:

    VOX sucks. Every page has a sign up button

  23. […] Content Management Systems I Would Or Wouldn’t Fuck […]

  24. ryan Says:

    how do you figure, VOX LJ & Blogger aren’t really traditional CMS systems….. I think you should look at ExpressionEngine. thats a real cms

  25. […] “I found this shit here” posts in a long while, so i’ll post some shit now. Like this shit, which I cracked up laughing at this as soon as I saw the title. The guy at that site, from what […]

  26. adslfa Says:

    drupal? seriously? drupal is what your face does after staring at the screen for 2394207 hours trying to make it work or simply waiting for an admin page to load.

  27. adel ahmed Says:

    l00000l. This made me laught ma ass off 😀

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