Fashion Codex for January 2007
January 17, 2007
Super busy this week, but I promise I will always make time to tell you about things that annoy me.
1) A lot of people caught this error, but it’s worth mentioning. I know they’re twins, but jesus fuck, they’re fraternal twins. Even if you can’t parse their fashion styles (which are DISPARATE and writ large across the movie screen of the universe), or remember which one does what with her hair (in a world where we get hourly updates on such matters) they’re different heights. Note to hack journalists: when in doubt, Ashley is more put together. You should know this. There are 10-year-olds who know this.
2) Dear grown men who tuck their shirts into their pants but don’t wear a belt: if I catch you on the street doing this, I have to resist the urge to kick you in the neck, and I am very bad at resisting urges. Please stop, you look like you’re 5.
3) I was all excited for winter, so that I wouldn’t have to see people wearing Crocs anymore. But it looks like women are all tucking their jeans into their furry boots this winter? I guess someone said that was OK? Even though it’s making me die a little inside, so now I’m eager for warmer weather again? Even though I look forward to colder weather all year, because I like that part of my wardrobe better? Please tell me this is just a function of where I live, and people aren’t doing this in other cities. Like I’m in my own private Jericho, just replace “nuclear holocaust” with “do not dress like that,” and replace Skeet Ulrich with…no, leave Skeet. Skeet’s great.