XI: Thou Shalt Not Disregard The Community’s Feelings

Jennifer Love Hewitt called Merlin’s cellphone last night. It was late, but she knew he’d be up.

He was laughing as he answered the phone– he recognized the number and knew exactly why she was calling.

JLH: Merlin.

MM: Love.

JLH: Catch the late edition?

MM: Yeah, skimmed the headlines.

JLH: Interesting little item below the fold there.

MM: Oh yeah what was that.

JLH: “No One On Internet Has Learned Anything, Ever.”

MM: Ha ha, yes. Interesting week in the online communities. I saw Derek’s post and just cringed.

JLH: And then you saw Paul not posting anything and re-cringed.

MM: Whose side are you taking in all this? Because you go way back with basically the whole masthead, right?

JLH: Yeah I’m sitting this one waaay out.

MM: You introduced Derek and Heather, aye-aye-arr-cee.

JLH: Yeah but I know all of them, so.

MM: And that Derek sure knows communities.

JLH: He sure knows how to stir them up, but that’s all I’ll say about that.

MM: And moderating communities and running a company are not the same thing, but that’s all I’ll say about that.

JLH: The community is the company, man!

MM: Oh right. Of course. Yes, let’s give the piranhas the keys to the corporate bidet.

JLH: “You changed the background color on Metafilter, why are you raping my baby?!?!”

MM: “You’re forcing me to log on to Flickr with my Yahoo email instead of my Gmail? Are we in Darfur?!?!”

JLH: Ugh! Awful. Is the same shit just going to keep happening over and over again? Make it stop, please make it stop.

MM: …

JLH: What are you doing. I hear typing.

MM: I’m totally blogging this. No. I’m putting something on Kung Fu, go look.

JLH: See? Yes. Thank you.

MM: Hey, come be on my show. Couple beers, old times. Do I have to call your agent or can we just set that up.

JLH: Sure, we can use that to launch my plans for a mandatory internet log-on screen that says “You are accessing the intarwebs. You will be interacting with other human beings, please act accordingly.”

MM: Yes. I’ll mock that up. I’m thinking Silkscreen would look nice.

JLH: How’d we get to be so much smarter than everyone else?

MM: Fiber I guess. Maybe vitamins. Hey congrats on your little TV show getting picked up for another season.

JLH: Why thank you.

MM: So I guess that’s working out pretty well for you, the Hollywood thing.

JLH: Yeah, seems to be, for now.

MM: Let me know if that falls through, I know a place with an opening for a Community Moderator.

JLH: Hmmm! Let me just call my agent and see if I can get out of my contract.

MM: Yeah let me know.

JLH: Night, Merlin.

MM: Night, Love.