Places I Would Like To Be Rubbed With An iPhone

July 27, 2007

  • On my forehead – Like when it’s all hot and humid outside, and I’ve had a long day, I think rubbing a nice cool iPhone across my forehead would be the ticket to relaxation. Maybe have some classical music on soft in the background.
  • On my calves – Sometimes my legs get super tired from walking. And also my calves get very itchy from wearing socks all day. Really giving my calves a vigorous scrub with an iPhone would feel so good. With the side of the iPhone, not the touch screen part. Really go at it.
  • On my buttocks – Nothing weird. I just think it would feel nice, if it was done very softly.
  • On my feet – Not all the time, but as a special treat once in a while. If you did it every day you would get used to it and it wouldn’t be as nice. Maybe a woman from Korea could give the soles of my feet a brisk rub with an iPhone as part of a pedicure or something? Like when you need that extra something special but you’re not sure what, she pulls out an iPhone and you’re like Oh heck yeah!

3 Responses to “Places I Would Like To Be Rubbed With An iPhone”

  1. Jordan Alperin Says:

    Jason…. you’re getting far too many pedicures.


  2. Does it have a vibrate setting? That would be great for my lumbar.

    Perhaps in a year we can get factory-reconditioned ones that’ll get hot after being on for 10 minutes.


  3. I’ve read this aloud now three times to people I care for. It gets better every time.


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