The Magnetic Target

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that given an infinitely large room, an adult male, and a toddler, irrespective of where in the room the man stands, the toddler will immediately hit him in the crotch with a toy telephone.

Where Our Fathers Kept Their Pornography

The Hot Chick from Bio

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when searching Myspace for your high school classmates, you will not find anyone you loved or hated, only people you vaguely remember.

Craigslist Missed Connections

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that no one will ever write a Missed Connection about you, but you will keep reading them every day, just in case.

Zack

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you work with someone named Zack, you will instinctively address him as “Zack Attack.”